Two people

Today was nothing short of one of my worst days ever, and no, I am not exaggerating one little bit. I have to do things all the time that I may not "want" to do, but I know that doing them won't hurt anybody. As for my list of today's "to-dos," two people got hurt. Two people who I care about deeply I had to crush. Two people who did nothing wrong. Two people who have families. Two people who didn't see "it" coming. Yep, I ruined two peoples days. I had to do this because it's my job. My job to try my best thru streaming tears tell two people they did nothing wrong but they could no longer work at my store. I had to do this because it's my job. It's my job to try to thank them for their time and work after vomiting in the bathroom in the middle of letting them go. Two people now no longer have jobs, I let them go. It's my job to do these things. Right now I really despise my "job."

"Protecting the core" is killing me inside... killing my core. Right now I don't care that I have a job, because right now my job makes me hurt people I care about, cry, and hate my actions. Right now, at this very moment, I wish two people had their jobs. I hope this feeling passes, and I am aware that it will. What I fear is how long it will take to do so.

Their is a reason God designed men to be leaders, and I know that is true after today. I'm not going to claim EVERY girl couldn't do what I did today, because I know many who it wouldn't phase.... I am not one of them, I am completely phased. I am good at my job, I am a good leader, and I am a good person a majority of the time, but today, I felt none of those things. Today I really sucked at my job, was in no way a good leader, and I feel like a terrible person.

All of this because of two people.