On hiatus, a sabatical, a break... you know

So, I am officailly on a "break" from work. Not like a day or two off, but an actual break. No phone calls, no e-mails, no bugging Lynnie for three and a half whole days.

See, I had what many in the medical world would call a "meltdown" on Sunday of this past week. My little disaster resulted in me arriving at my store on my day off to hand in my keys, pack my stuff, and say my goodbyes. I did two of the three, but even the two were only partial, leave it to me to not have any follow-thru! I am/was at my wits end. Everything in me was boiling over. I wanted to never come back. I was scared but ready. I was/am insane. I was talked out of it.

I relenquished my angst when I tt a very near dear friend of mine, my sweet loving Angie. She, being my voice of reason, level-headed, think it thru friend, set me straight. She told me to tt my boss and tell him how I feel, which is just what I did for a very long phone call on Monday morning. I said things that were hard to say, and heard things I needed to hear. None of it was easy, but from my experience, most things in life worth having aren't easy.

All in all I still don't know if I will want to go back in on Friday, but the one thing I do know...

From being a part of the company for the years I have, I have gained a lot of things. A sense of responsibility, accomplishment, pride, and the occasional feeling of anger. More importantly I have gained SOMEONE thru this company that I would otherwise never know. She is the one who isn't afraid to tell me the hard things even when she knows I'm gonna cry. She's the one who gave me the little ring from the lost and found (reference pic below, this ring is STILL on my work key chain) and placed it on my pinky at the end of one crappy day and promised me it would get better. She's the one who calls me her "Sweet Dynn Lailey." She's the one who can make me smile from far away. She is my Angie.

So Angie, this blogs for you, the one who keeps me sane even from thousands of miles away, the one who has an unconditional love for her sweet, yet slightly unbalanced Dynn Lailey. I love you to the moon and back G. Thanks for always being there. If blogs could be hugs this would be a big one, you know, like when you just don't wanna let go, yeah, that kind of hug!

For those who are curious, here's proof I still have my keys...... and my BlackBerry(although, it is in "off"mode) Aww, see the little ring to the bottom of the corkscrewy chain thingy, that's Angie's "promise" to me!

Tempting fate, and a GOOD day

It is currently 3:05 in the afternoon, and to this point my phone has not rang!!!!! YAY for a day OFF!!!!! Knock on wood somebody, quick!

I have had a pretty incredible day so far. Taylor and Tristin stayed the night last night, so I had fun with them. Their Momma and daddy are diehard Broncos fans, and last nights game wasn't being televised on any of the channels they get, so they went and watched at a local sports bar. Woke up this morning at 6:45 (which is far earlier than when I get up for work) to get breakfast and such ready. Woke the kiddos at 7 and the day began. Taylor was so still wanting to sleep, but Tristin hit the ground running....... ahhh, to be 3 again! Took Taylor to school at 7:30 and Tristin and I returned home to lounge and play. Momma had a hair appt. so we were on our own 'til 1.

We had an outstanding time! We played beauty shop, Barbies, and an hour and a half long game of Hide-n-Seek! Tristin would hide in the very same place that she had just found me... EVERYTIME! It cracked me up, but I played along as if she were never going to be found she hid so well. Momma came and picked us girls up and we went to lunch at Jimmy John's, mmmm, their sandwiches are so dang good!

Now I am on my own again and the peace and quiet here is nearly deafening. I thrive with kids around, and am always sad to see them leave. Luckily for me Chase and Kady will be home in a few hours, and not so luckily for me... I have about ten loads of laundry to fill the time 'til they are home!

I am posting this pic to show just how "stay-at-home-mommy" I am today!

Let it be noted, I did shower! Let us all now notice.... I have on zero makeup, only moisturizer.... my hair is in a ponytail, with serious fly-aways due to not using any hairspray (no time for such luxuries when you have a serious game of H-&-S going on!) and lastly, I am sporting a hoodie! Moms, and wanna-be-moms (ie, ... ME) of the world, I salute you AND your attire!

A bad thing turned good, or did it....

Have you ever had one of those days where you really begin to question why you do what you do? I know we all have, and boy, that was so me today. Today I seriously considered (like sat in the parking lot and cried I was so dang near ready to do it) handing in my keys. Things at work have really sucked for a long while now just due to various reasons.... too many to go into here. Today I had a million and seventy seven phone calls, all valid. I had to go to the store twice, mind you it WAS my day off, again, the trips were valid. I can truly say I don't like spending an hour (total) driving back and forth from home to my store on my day off. I can also truly say, that because of the crappy day I was having at work (on my day OFF! Ughhh...) I had something brought to my attention that made me smile. Proof that their always is a sliver lining I suppose :)

I pretty well flew off the handle when I got a phone call that meant I had to go back to the store for round two. I raised my voice, stated my opinion, and cussed. All the while none of these actions were making me feel any better, all they did was make me wish a had 100mg of Zoloft in me instead of only a mere 50mg as prescribed. As I drove to the store I balled, like full on tears, snot running down your divet crying. I told myself I was done, I have had enough of never being off, always having to have my phone, and always being on edge, I was done! I would be lying to say I don't quite possibly still think that is the best option, but as of now..... I still have my keys.

I walked in the store, Collin greeted me with the best words I had heard all day. "Wow, I know you are mad cause you cussed, and you never cuss!" I smiled the cheesiest grin and just nodded. It was right then and there that I realized this......
I have worked with Collin for a little over 6 months, I have had a few too many within him on one occasion, I have had "out of store" situations with him more times than I can count, I have worked several days where it is only he and I there, and in all these times he hasn't heard me curse!

Some habits die hard, but for me this has been one of the hardest. I grew up in a home where I knew what I could and couldn't repeat, I also knew that my Momma could, and can put any sailor to shame! I had always not liked my mouth, but it was a part of my vocab and would slip out quite a bit. Now I am pleased to say I have gotten it to only when I am furious that those words creep back, and luckily for me I only get mad about twice a year! So yay me!

Next battle......
How do I deal with the fact that my job brings out the worst in me........... But I still have my keys for now!

Blurb for today

Well not a whole lot going on, but I thought I would post a little bit of some randoms from the day, if for no other reason... it gives you something to read, right Connie??? LOL!

"Dip" day proved to be an outstanding idea for this weeks carry in at work. Mmmm, I now wonder what we will come up with for next Saturday. I def had more than my fair share of Ruffles and French Onion.... ahhhh! I sold not so much at all today, which has also been the case for the past few weeks. I am REALLY hoping things pick back up at work, the 'ole pocketbook hopes so too. Maybe after the election? Okay, enough on that.... I feel my depression growing!

I joined Facebook this week. I am now back in contact with so many people who don't have a MySpace page. Apparently their is some unwritten "loyalty" clause that says, "One who has Facebook, shall not have MySpace." Alas, the eleventh commandment. I am SO breaking it though! I LOVE my MySpace page!

Speaking of commandments, I bought new book tabs for one of my Bibles that I hadn't tabbed yet. Now all of my Bibles are tabbed for my ease of finding! Yay for the small things that make life easier. Have you ever wondered why the front of most all Bibles say "Holy Bible?" Am I missing something? Is their an "Unholy Bible?"

While at the Bible Bookstore I also purchased the newest Addison Road album. It is self titled, and I love ALL of the songs on it, but this one is my fave! Enjoy!

PS, Enjoy the extra hour of sleep this evening, I know I will! :)